The Principal is NOT the bogeyman!

A bogeyman (also spelled bogieman, or boogeyman) is a mythical creature in many cultures used by adults to frighten children into compliant behavior. Parents may tell their children that if they misbehave, the bogeyman will get them. Bogeymen may target a specific mischief—for instance, a bogeyman that punishes children who suck their thumbs—or general misbehavior, depending on what purpose needs serving. – Wikipedia

With Halloween quickly approaching I thought it would be an appropriate time to address another

mythical creature often used to frighten children or students and even some teachers--the principal!  It also so happens that "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is one of my favorite movies and has a rather entertaining bogeyman in its cast of characters! 

I remember my own childhood ideas of the principal as pretty much the scariest person in the world!  The idea of going to the principal’s office was terrifying.  No one ever went there for a good reason.  You went to the principal’s office because you were in trouble… BIG TROUBLE! Stories even existed of the never seen but legendary “paddle”  I, of course, was NEVER SENT there, but I greatly feared it nonetheless.

I think this is the image of principal that many of us, including teachers, still perpetuate today.  As adults we know that most principals are actually pretty decent, kind, compassionate people.  What I think what many enjoy, however, is setting up the principal to be the bogeyman.  A threat often used to motivate kids is “If this happens again I will have to send you to the principal’s office.”  I’m okay with this to a certain extent, as long as the referring adult doesn’t really expect me to act like a monster. I mean I hope I treat our students like i treat the adults in the building, with respect.

When students do something wrong and are sent to see me, I do want them to feel remorseful about what they’ve done.  I will not accomplish this understanding of guilt by yelling or threatening.  Instead, I ask them to reflect on what they have done, consider the feelings of those effected, and to see how they have let down themselves and their parents.  When necessary and appropriate we will talk with their parents about an appropriate consequence.  This usually works, but it is far from the end of the process.

Before students leave my office I think it is important to affirm them and give them hope.  I usually try to

remind them that they are good, and that this has been a bad choice.  I like to remind them that my disappointment or the teacher's disappointment stems from how much promise we see in that young man.  This action does not define who they are.  Instead, I tell them, they will be defined by how they respond to the situation.  They can accept responsibility, apologize, make up for what they’ve done, and grow closer to others.

As an adult in a position of authority, I believe giving the offending student hope is absolutely necessary.  The image of a student leaving my office is not one in tears, but one of a students who has been remorseful and now has their chin up, firmly resolved to fix what they’ve broken.

So feel free to use a visit to my office as a threat, but don’t be disappointed if students leaving my office aren’t in tears.  It’s not that I’m being “too easy” on them, it’s all part of my goal to develop students into reflective, responsible, and respectful young men.

Also, feel free to stop by my office, because I typically keep treats like chocolate and other candy near by.

Happy Halloween!